I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
