I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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