I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
