Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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