Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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