I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
