What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
