I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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