Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
