I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
