My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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