I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
