Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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