the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After tacos, we're chasing women.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
