i may or may not be watching the land before time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
