JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
