3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude i'm inner monologue high
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Holy shit dude........stairs
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
