Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
