Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
