he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
