Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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