He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
