She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
