its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
