Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
