Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
