Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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