I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
