I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
