Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
