I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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