life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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