Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
