the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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