I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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