When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
