I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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