we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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