I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
