I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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