I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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