My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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