No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
