hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
