I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
