why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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