As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
