She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
