therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you traded sex for a burrito?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How external is "for external use only"?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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