I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
