Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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