Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
