I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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