ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
