he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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