My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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