whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
