Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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