Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
