Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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