Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
