I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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