I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
