Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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