You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
